


Rank me Up!

by Earley



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, M/M, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, spoilers for November, there's a ship palace but it's not shido's
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-23 01:25:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17070827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Earley/pseuds/Earley
Summary: Akira Kurusu knows Akechi is fake, they all know after rigging his phone and listening to him talk about murdering Akira. Savage, Goro Akechi, savage. Despite that, they have come up with a decent plan to help their leader, but Akira wants to try something else first and nobody can stop him. (Well, they can, but they won’t because he is the leader and his friends love him too much, honestly.)Akira realizes that if he gets Akechi to Rank 10 before the 20th of November arrives, a miracle might happen, so he organizes a private trip inside the Palace of a questionable Fujoshi to bond with the detective.





	1. Chapter 1

  

**Kurusu Akira 12:45 PM**

Hey, do you have a moment to talk?

**Akechi Goro 12:47 PM**

If it’s related to the Phantom Thieves, then yes, I can make time. But aren’t you in class?

**Kurusu Akira 12:47 PM**

My homeroom teacher lets me slack off sometimes. We have a ‘pact’.

**Akechi Goro 12:47 PM**

Lovely. Shujin Academy really is something else.

**Kurusu Akira 12:48 PM**

She is also a maid.

**Akechi Goro 12:48 PM**

Haha. Sometimes it’s hard to know if you are messing around with me.

**Kurusu Akira 12:49 PM**

I would never do that. Thief’s honor.

**Akechi Goro 12:49 PM**

Funny. Then should I do something about that teacher? I can put on use my ties with the police, you know, since it seems that what she does is hardly legal.

**Kurusu Akira 12:50 PM**

What? No! That’s not what I wanted to talk about, she is alright.

**Akechi Goro 12:50 PM**

I was kidding. Nevertheless, what’s this business you want to share with me?

**Kurusu Akira 12:50 PM**

Better talk about that in person. Can we meet today at Akihabara, 5pm?

**Akechi Goro 12:50 PM**

Of course, I will be there.

**Kurusu Akira 12:51 PM**

Thanks!

**Akechi Goro 12:54 PM**

By the way, I hope our deal with Sae-san is still intact. I know waiting until the 18 of November to send the calling card can be tedious but I believe it is the best course of action.

**Kurusu Akira 12:54 PM**

Yes yes don’t worry, it’s not about that.

**Akechi Goro 12:55 PM**

Oh, I’m glad to hear that. See you this afternoon then, Kurusu.

 

Akira places the phone to his side and exhales.

“Are you reeeeally sure about this, Akira?”

He looks up from his phone only to find Ann’s troubled expression. Just as he told Akechi, he is in class, enjoying a moment of free time thanks to Kawakami, who babbled some excuse through the speakers to give him free time to do something...

“So stupid!” Murmurs Morgana under his desk. “Look at that detective, getting worried we might call our deal off. Akechi is SO fake.” He moves his tail furiously. “And you too, Akira! Your plan is terrible!”

Akira laughs a little, trying not to think too much about it. He knows Akechi is fake, they all know after rigging his phone and listening to him talk about murdering Akira. Savage, Goro Akechi, savage. Despite that, Makoto and Futaba have already come up with a decent plan to help their leader in the interrogation room but still… Akira wants to try something else first, and nobody can stop him.

(Well, they can, but they won’t because he is the leader and his friends love him too much, honestly.)

“It will be alright, I have everything under control.” He says, sounding as confident as he can to make Ann and Morgana feel better. “I just want to get to know Akechi better. Who knows, maybe he is being manipulated into murdering people. If I can get close to him, he might tell me the truth.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“Then we will go forward with the original plan. Nothing will go wrong, believe me.”

Ann and Morgana smile, but they don’t look very sure.

The afternoon arrives and Akira finds himself alone, waiting in front of a very bright and pink butler cafe in Akihabara. He left Morgana with Ann after school was over, the two of them still looking at him overly worried. “Come on, don’t give me that face, It’s not like he is going to shoot me in the middle of Akihabara, there’s too many people.” He assured them.

And he is right. The streets are packed of teenagers holding bags full of anime figures and old men carrying not safe for work magazines under their arms.

And talking about not safe for work…

“My apologies!” is the first thing Akechi says when he arrives. “I intended to be here on time, but a few maids stopped me while I was walking...”

“That’s tragic. Did they want to recruit you?” Akira jokes, deadpan, and imagines Akechi wearing a maid outfit. Then stops, because that’s not a very healthy thought to have about your potential murderer.

“Haha I really hope not, I would make a terrible butler, don’t you think?” Laughs Akechi, acting embarrassed even though it’s obvious he thinks he would look good.

“Yeah, definitely a maid uniform would suit you better…”

“Excuse me?”

“Why don’t we go to this café and talk about business over a meal?” he says quickly, starting to walk towards the café.

“A-A butler café…? Wouldn’t you prefer to talk somewhere else?” Akechi smiles in a way that says _I-have-a-reputation-and-I-would-rather-not-eat-there_.

“Believe me, it has to be here. It’s related to the matter I want to talk to you about.”

And it’s the right thing to say, because that picks Akechi’s interest. Akira can tell because the detective nods to himself, his gloved hand falling on his chin as he stares intensely at the café.

“Alright, lead the way then.”

If Akira is being honest here, he has never been to a butler café. (He went to a maid café once, but it felt like a cultural shock because the maids were too kind and sweet compared to his Kawakami experience.)

Instead, this butler café, although it is terribly pink and soft looking, seems to be very quiet. The butlers, handsome teenagers who are probably around his age, are polite and more on the quieter side. Too quiet, maybe.

Akechi and Akira end up sitting in a spot near the window. Soon after, a short butler asks them what they would like to order.

“A hot... seme chocolate.” Reads Akechi from the menu, with a pleasing tone.

Akira is almost impressed that Akechi can say something as embarrassing as that without cringing, but then he notices how his smile looks forced and his eyes aren’t leaving the menu. Akira has to bit inside his cheek not to laugh.

“A tsundere brat pancake for me.” Smiles Akira with a deadpan face, because he is that petty. The short butler nods with a small reverence and leaves.

Well, if that isn’t an ice breaker.

Akira wonders how long will it take for Akechi to regain mental strength after that exchange when he notices two girls sitting a few tables away staring at them and giggling a little. Weird. He plays with his hair, the place really is out of his comfort zone but if his plan to get closer to the detective works, it will be worth it.

As Futaba had told him a few days ago, people tend to bond faster when they go through an embarrassing situation together.

“You never cease to surprise me, Kurusu.” starts Akechi, bringing his attention back. “This place really is interesting, do you enjoy coming here a lot?”

Oh. So all that time Akechi was thinking about how to lowkey insult him. 

“This is the first time I’ve come here, actually.”

“Really? You seem quite used to this kind of ambient.”

“I thought you were, too, having a food blog and all. You should take a pic of your chocolate when it arrives and post it.” 

Akira can tell how Akechi almost rolls his eyes. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to post a desert called Hot seme chocolate, but I will keep that in mind, thanks.”

Akira imagines Akechi’s blog, so professional looking with the caption seme and hot in the same sentence. He starts laughing. 

“It is not that funny.”

“It is.” disagrees Akira, “And the next entry should be about Russian Takoyaki.”

Akechi almosts pouts at that, looking openly embarrassed for the first time.

While Akira laughs, he can’t help but realize that this is the longest conversation he has ever had with Akechi, which means he is doing a good job so far, but it also makes him wonder why didn’t they talk more before. Maybe if he had put more effort Akechi wouldn’t want to kill him now, he thinks before he can stop that train of thought.

‘Morgana would hit me for feeling guilty over this.’ he thinks with a soft smile. ‘It’s okay. I can still fix this.’

“Jokes apart,” he starts, with a tone he only uses in the metaverse, “I wanted to come here because I wanted to see something for myself and needed a second opinion.”

“See something for yourself?” Repeats Akechi, glad for the change of topic and ready to give his input.

“Yes, you know about the Phansite, right? After Haru’s dad… died, we stopped looking at the polls, but the other day I remembered that-” 

Akira is cut off when a loud scream echoes all over the butler café. The scream is so terrifying that the boys exchange a worried glance before they look around trying to find the source. Akira is almost certain that someone is dying until he finally finds the owner of the voice: a teenage girl who, yeah, looks like she is dying, but from... pleasure?

“Ah… So it’s _this kind_ of butler café.” Murmurs Akechi to himself.

Akira follows the direction of Akechi’s eyes and then he understands. Two butlers, a tall guy with glasses, and the short boy who attended them earlier, are kissing each other in one of the sofas while the loud girl who screamed is seated in front of them, watching them kiss as if she was in a movie theater.

The butler with glasses opens the shirt of the short guy, one button at a time, incredibly slow and sensual, while the short buttler holds him tight.

All the girls in the café, also alerted by the loud scream, notice the boys in the sofa and start squealing as well, getting up from their tables to get a closer look of the boys’ love display.

Akira notices how one of the butlers looks nervously at a surveillance camera located in one of the corners of the café. The butler then sighs, defeated, and starts kissing the boy again, fake moaning louder so his voice can be heard over the girls’ screams.

Akechi is right, this is no ordinary butler café. This is a Boys Love café, a place where butlers are supposed to make out in front of the guests, usually young girls, for their entertainment.

“...Uncomfortable.” Murmurs Akechi, suddenly.

Akira looks at him perplexed, he didn’t expect someone like Akechi to admit that. He always thought of him as a robot, Bip bop, you know? But it seems even Akechi can feel flustered.

“Saying two boys kissing makes you uncomfortable is a bit homophobic.” he says, because he can’t help it.

“What? No, not me! I mean that the butlers look too uncomfortable!” 

“Oh.”

Akechi takes a deep breath before talking, Akira thinks he should stop messing around with his murderer or he really might shoot him in the middle of Akihabara.

Akechi puts a hand on his chin “Jobs like these are becoming very popular lately.” He starts, matter of factly. “At the end of the day, it’s just acting so it shouldn’t be nothing to worry about but…” He stares at the butlers. “They look too uncomfortable. Something is not right.”

Akira smirks.

“I knew bringing you here would be a good idea.”

“What do you mean?”

“The poll from the Phansite.” Says Akira, finally returning to the reason he brought Akechi there. “Before Okumura got the first place in that poll, a lot of people were voting for a woman called Shiro Williams. She is half european and the boss of many new Boys Love butler cafes, like this one.” 

“Oh, I believe I have heard of her. She is what people call a fujoshi, right?” 

“I didn’t know you were familiar with that word.” Akira says, surprised. Akechi really is a nerd, although he already discovered that during one trip to Mementos when Akechi started arguing with Futaba and Yusuke over the mythology of Mothman. 

For three long, long hours.

“I have Instagram.” Akechi explains. “and fangirls, it kind of becomes unavoidable not to know about that term.” 

“Internet is a dark place.”

“It is, why are you also acquainted with that term?”

“Futaba.” He simply says.

Akechi nods, satisfied with the answer.

“Anyway, back to the matter,” Continues Akira. “This boss, Shiro Williams, seems to be into BoyxBoy relationships deeply. Because of that, she came to Japan and created a lot of butler cafes which have become very popular in a short period of time. That wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t because there are rumours about Shiro blackmailing her workers to do... other kind of stuff besides fanservice.”

It doesn’t make Akira happy to talk about that, If those rumors are true, he wants to do something about it. Akechi, on his part, seems to be deep in thought. He stares at the butlers, who are still kissing each other. 

“I see. It is possible that those rumors are right.” Admits Akechi. “I heard that some boy tried to sue Shiro Williams but he didn’t have enough evidence nor money so the trial ended as fast as it started.”

“...Now I get why they decided to put her name on the poll and believe in the Phantom Thieves.” Akira doesn’t miss the way Akechi rolls his eyes at that last part.

“Either way, I’m glad I was of help.” Says the detective, as servicial as ever. “I guess you want to go to Mementos to change her heart, am I right?” 

“That’s the tricky part. She can’t be found in Mementos. She has a palace.” 

Akechi raises his eyebrows, first surprised. Then, Akira can see a hint of unmistakable frustration.

“You want to go to her palace and change her heart.” Says Akechi. It’s not even a question.

“That’s right.”

Akechi crosses his arms against his chest. He looks angry.

“Our deal was to do Sae’s palace and then the Phantom Thieves would disband. Doing another palace right now is not what we accorded.”

Yep, Akechi is angry. 

He realises how much Akechi loves being in control. “Besides, the public hates the Phantom Thieves, they believe you are murderers. Imagine the commotion it would create if Shiro Williams announced that she got a calling card.” 

Akira is somehow glad that the squeals and moans of the café are loud enough that nobody can hear their conversation.

“You are right, it’s dangerous.” Akira starts. “But we have already secured the route to the treasure of Sae’s palace. We have fifteen days left until we send her calling card, that means we have plenty of free time. It would take only two or three days to do Shiro William’s palace if you came with me, since you are so skilled...”

Akira knows he is playing dirty here. Akechi loves the praise, that much is obvious. He can almost feel three stars coming out of Akechi’s head when he says that.

When Akechi speaks next, he almost looks like he is considering it.

“I’m glad that you trust my skills so much, Kurusu, and I really don’t want to disappoint you, but I still think this is a bad idea.” he says, and almost looks like he regrets it. Key word being _almost_. “Why don’t we complete mementos requests, instead? We can help people and it will be far less dangerous. It’s a win-win situation, don’t you think?”

This was going to be harder than he expected.

Except the conversation was going exactly where he wanted it to go.

“I actually thought about that.” Says Akira with his most charismatic smile. “As you know, I take my justice very seriously…”

There goes Akechi rolling his eyes again, it’s almost funny. Akira doesn’t laugh, though, he is a man on a mission.

“Now that the Phantom Thieves will disband soon… I want to make the most of it.” he says, a bit dramatically. Akechi’s face becomes sour, already expecting where Akira is getting at. “I want to help as much people as possible, and the only way to do that is to have the others complete Mementos requests while you and I complete Shiro William’s palace.”

After his short but motivational speech, or so he wants to believe, Akira stares at Akechi with a small but adventurous smile, inviting him.

“What do you think?”

Akechi seems to be taking everything in, because he avoids looking into his eyes by staring  at the window instead, watching the people walking around Akihabara.

“Do the other members of your group agree with _me_ accompanying you?” he asks. “Wouldn’t you prefer to go with someone else?” He says all that with a calm voice and a polite smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

Akira’s own smile fades. Even if Akechi is using nice words, he can see the true meaning behind them.

What Akechi is probably really trying to say is: ‘ _Why would you go with someone like me? The other Phantom Thieves would hate that.’_

Akira knows he is right. His friends don’t like him, even more so since they discovered what he planned to do with their leader. And yet, there’s something in Akechi’s voice that makes Akira realize how lonely he sounds, how frustrated and angry his eyes look behind all that false bravado and charismatic smiles. 

Akira can tell that Akechi is not happy, and he is glad for that.

A happy person does things because he wants to, a sad person makes them because he has to.   

Akira really wants to believe that deep down Akechi doesn’t want to kill him, he _has_ to.

“You heard me, Akechi, I want to do this with you, I need you.” he realizes how strong his words come off, but doesn’t regret it, maybe it’s what Akechi needs to hear. 

Akechi is still looking through the window. “Even after I think I have figured you out, you come with these... reckless plans.” he finally says with a weak smile. 

“Does that mean you are in?” Akira smirks, excited.

“Yeah, I am.” Akechi concedes, trying to sound less excited, but the fire behind his eyes gives him away. “I won’t disappoint you, BUT, if things get too complicated we will forget about the palace and leave this matter to the police.” 

“Sounds good to me.” 

In that moment, the short butler arrives, completely disheveled and with a few hickeys on his neck. “Sorry for the wait! Here are your Hot Seme Chocolate and your Brat Tsundere Pancake!” 

Akira and Akechi stare at each other with a deep, honest and high level of cringe. 

“Heavens, I almost forgot I had somewhere else to go this afternoon.” Akechi says, standing up and not even bothering to hide the obvious lie. 

“Really? What a coincidence, me too.” Agrees Akira, with a laugh.

Both boys leave the BL Café with the remainings of their reputation.

 

***

 

That night, Akira is getting ready to go to sleep, only if Morgana would let him. (Oh, how the tables have turned.) 

“Are you sure I can’t comeeee?” Repeats the cat for the third time. 

“It has to be only the two of us.” says Akira patiently. “I don’t really know how to explain it, but I have a bond with Akechi. The problem is that our bond is not strong enough, I need to spend more time with him so we can rank up.”

“Rank up? You really play too many video games…” 

“No, Mona, listen up, remember that time I met with Ann and Shiho in the school’s rooftop?”

“Yeah…? Wait- Did you two do something funny!?” 

Akira decides not to tell the not-cat that Ann and Shiho kind of confessed their love there. “Not really, but after Siho left, Ann and I stayed and talked a little about her aspirations and that kind of deep stuff.”

“I see, she is such a kind, goal-oriented girl.” Mona says with hearts in his eyes.

Akira laughs, “she is, and because she trusted me so much, I felt how our bond got stronger. if I put it into understandable words… I would say that out of ten, our relationship became rank 9. I know it sounds strange, but it’s a power I have… Wildcard privileges?”

“I think I get it, so you want to get to Rank 10 with Akechi?” 

“That’s the idea, yes. If I manage to do that before the 20th of November then there’s a big possibility of Akechi coming to our side and telling us who the big boss is himself.”

“It’s still risky, being with him alone in an unknown palace…” Says Morgana. “But If someone can do it, it’s you, so I will trust your judgement. Just, please, take care.” 

Akira can’t hide his proud smile. His friends really love him too much. “Thank you, Mona.” 

“Pft, for what? I didn’t do anything.” Says the cat, blushing. 

“For believing in me, and for not thinking I’m a lunatic with all that rank talk.” 

“To be honest, I still don’t fully get it, but if you have these special powers it is for a reason, it’s only smart of you to use them as much as possible. And now…” 

“Yeah?”

“Go to sleep.”

 

***

 

The next time Akira sees Akechi, it’s in front of that same Butler Café on a windy sunday. They decided over chat that it would be better if they completed the palace within one single day, and since the detective said he was free on sunday the date was established.

“For a criminal you are very puntual, Kurusu.” 

Akira turns his head to look at Akechi, expecting the usual sight, but he is surprised to see that the detective decided to come wearing sport clothes and riding a bicycle. 

He must have been staring for too long because when Akechi notices, his neutral expression changes into something that can only be described as smug.

“Is it so strange to see me in sportswear?” He asks, smoothly. 

“A little…” Akira says, lamely, then decides not to be such a loser (he could compliment Akechi on his clothes, but that is probably what Akechi wants so no, thanks. He has an honor to maintain or something.) Instead, he says, “I just thought you were exclusively into formal clothes. I even made a bet with Futaba, she says you probably go to sleep with a shirt and a tie on.”

Akechi stares at him, unamused, which is funny by itself. “Well, I’m glad to inform you that she has lost the bet. And what did you say?” 

“That you take baths with your gloves on.” he says with a cheeky smile.

“...Always the joker.” Akechi shakes his head with his remaining patience. “But really, It’s a job thing, mostly, I do have to follow a strict dress code which happens to be formal.” 

Akira is not too sure about that, because Akechi also wears that awful blue argyle vest unironically, but he is not going to get into that. 

“About the biking, I thought it would be a good idea to ride as a warm up before entering the palace, It’s important to be in a good shape before fighting shadows.” Says Akechi with a bright smile. 

“Well, I ate curry before coming here so at least I have the energy covered.” He gave up on going to the gym four months ago. 

“Isn’t it 9am? Did you ate curry for breakfast?” Asks Akechi, perplexed at Akira’s life choices. 

“It’s not as terrible as it sounds, promise, come to Leblanc one morning and I will show you.” 

“Sounds promising, maybe one day.” Smiles Akechi. Akira doesn’t believe him but he lets it pass, after all that’s why he is here right now, to break though Akechi’s walls and discover why he is... like that.  He takes out his phone and speaks.

“The Shiro Williams who owns the Butler themed cafes.” 

A found sound rings to let them know she has a palace. Akechi gets closer to him and also speaks to his phone. 

“The location is the Boys Love butler cafe in Akihabara.” Another found sound rings. 

“Now we only need to find out what she sees this cafe as.” Murmurs Akechi, already in deep thought. “Do you have any ideas, Kurusu?” 

“A few.” Akira had made a mental list of things Shiro Williams could see her café as, and he had very good suggestions thanks to Futaba, who made him a powerpoint introduction to the world of Yaoi and fujoshis. 

He has become a master of boys love now, not that he can brag about that in front of Akechi. 

“Let’s hear them, then.” Offers Akechi patiently.

“Sure, how about Heaven?” No candidate found. “A boys-only school?” No candidate found.

“A love hotel” Akechi tries. No candidate found. “A ferris wheel?” No candidate found. 

They both look at each other, feeling a bit disappointed and useless. Akechi is already with his hand on his chin and Akira is playing with his hair. Suddenly, both open their mouths at the same time with realization.

“A SHIP!” 

Candidate found! 

Before the real world blurries around them, Akira sees a fraction of Akechi’s satisfied smile, full of childish glee for getting the answer at the same time. Akira himself can’t help but smile as well, thinking about how such a small thing can make the detective so happy. 

‘Well, the time of the truth has come.’ 

“Oh my god.” 

Is the first thing that comes to Akira’s mind after the palace becomes clear in front of their eyes. 

“We are on a ship... flying on a rainbow.” He says, perplexed. 

“That’s… correct.” Coincides Akechi, not as surprised as Akira but pretty amazed at the sight. 

They are on a huge flying ship made of gold and glitter sailing the blue sky, full of fluffy clouds and colorful rainbows. 

“Ann and Haru would love this so much...” he can’t help but say, contrary to the other palaces they had been, which were dark and gritty, this one is bright, colorful, soft and fun. He isn’t Yusuke so he can’t find the exact words to describe it, but ‘cute’ is a good start. 

“This isn’t good,” says Akechi, furrowing his brows, “Your thief outfit stands out too much.” 

Akira looks at his joker outfit. Too black and edgy for that palace. It is going to be hard to hide with his clothes. Unlike someone he knows...

“Your prince costume fits this place, Akechi.” he says half-jokingly, because really, Akechi’s prince outfit does look like it belongs there. He expects Akechi to tell him to shut up, but Crow only looks at himself. 

“You are right. I knew a white costume would prove advantageous one day.” He says, content enough. 

“Who are you two, uwu?” Says a voice, suddenly. Akira and Akechi turn around only to be faced with a very pretty… Boy? Girl? Shadow? 

“We have come to see your master, Shiro Williams.” Says Crow with his best smile. Then he whispers. “Did he say oowoo?” 

The androgynous pretty shadow seems conflicted. “I don’t think my master knows you, uwu, but you are very handsome and your outfits match beautifully so my master would be happy for you to come… I think. What should I do…uwu?” 

Akira is still processing this whole… thing. (Whatever it is) but then he realizes this is no different from negotiating with Shadows so he goes for it. 

“Please, we really want to see your master… uwu.”

He tries to keep a straight face when he says that, he swears he does, but Akechi’s reaction is so funny that a laugh escapes from his lips. 

“Hey, Black! why are you laughing? Are you making fun of me?!” The shadow scoffs angrily. _‘welp, Plan B then’_ Akira decides. 

“No! I was just thinking that you are... very cute.” He tells the shadow with all the charm he can muster. 

“What.” Says the shadow. 

“What.” Says Akechi, who gives him a bewildered and judging glance. “Joker, I swear to God-” He starts, but is interrupted- 

“O-Oh! T-Thank you so much, uwu! I do my best to be pretty so the master notices me, THANK YOU SO MUCH, I’M SO GLAD, UWU!!” Answers the shadow, incredibly flustered and surprising Joker and Crow. 

“I really think the master will like you both, so please follow me into her palace!” The shadow says, beaming. 

Akira grins and thanks the shadow. 

“I can’t believe this.” Akechi whispers. Then, realizing what he just said, smiles at Joker. “I meant to say that I’m impressed, you confused me for a moment there!” 

“Did you really think I would hit on a shadow?” Laughs Joker. 

“It didn’t seem so far fetched.” 

“You wound me.” 

They start following the cute shadow into the entrance of the ship. While they walk, Akira notices Crow’s intense stare on him. 

“How did you realize it wanted to be praised?”  Akechi finally asks. 

“What?” 

“How did you get to the conclusion that what the Shadow wanted to hear were words of praise?” He repeats, curiosity and something more present in his voice. 

“I didn’t know, really.” Shrugs Akira, trustfully. “But Shiro Williams seems the kind of woman who likes pretty things, and since the shadows work for her It’s only normal that they would like to impress their master, right?” 

“Right...” Nods Akechi, with a hard expression on his face. 

Akira doesn’t miss that. It’s a rare reaction for such a simple question.

He wonders if Akechi also dresses and behaves well to impress someone else. His fans, maybe? No, he doesn’t really seem to care about them. Sae? Unlikely. Maybe his boss? But who is Akechi’s boss...? 

Before Akira can think further they cross the gates of the ship only to find themselves in front of a very unique sight: 

There’s a main hall incredibly big and spacious. Everything is decorated with pastel colors, hearts and stars. There’s a big fountain in the middle which throws rainbows that reach the ceiling instead of water.

The shadows and cognitions seem to be walking around and having a good time. There are boys with other boys, and girls with girls, all of them minding their own business. They don’t even seem to notice the intruders, as they are too focused on each other.   

“It looks like they are on an eternal date.” Akechi whispers, voicing the same thought as Akira. 

“At least it seems they are having a good time.” He comments. The shadows do look happy, something strange considering that in the real world the butlers looked anything but that. 

“Why? Are you jealous of them, Kurusu?” Akechi says with a sly smile, definitely trying to mess with him.

“Why should I, honey? My date is better.” Akira grins before he can stop himself while Akechi rolls his eyes, smiling as well. 

Akira can feel Morgana’s ghost judging him from Leblanc. His occasional flirting with Akechi is nothing to get worried about, though, it’s just fun banter, or that’s what he forces himself to believe. Self Care, yup. 

Before Akechi can say something witty, the cute Shadow stops in front of them. 

“To continue further you will have to wear this, uwu.” The shadow explains, showing them what looks to be a pair of… pins. Akira’s soul (or Arsene, he is not sure.) leaves his body when he reads what is written on them: 

100% seme and 100% uke. 

 _Oh my God._  

The shadow keeps talking as if he didn’t just show them the most embarrassing BL pins ever. “Our master cares a lot about dividing her ships into seme & uke categories. If she doesn’t know who is whom then she is not interested in our guests, uwu. Please, tell me which one you are so we can go to the upper floor.” 

Akira can feel a cold sweat on his neck. Leave it to him to take Akechi to a fujoshi’s palace to bond. This was only the beginning and the awkward level was too high. 

“Does your master have a preference?” Asks Akechi, unfazed. Akira is amazed at how Akechi can look so composed after that. The shadow smiles. 

“Indeed, uwu! It’s a test. Our master has a clear type, if your answer doesn’t fit my master’s criteria then you will never be allowed to enter. You only have one chance to get it right!” 

Well, this palace was going to be more difficult than he expected. 

“I’m going to give you both some space to decide. When you are sure of your answer meet me at the fountain, uwu.” The shadow smiles for one last time and leaves. 

Now that Akira is left alone with Akechi, he honestly wants to die. Well, not literally, if he had wanted to die he wouldn’t have come here in the first place, so instead of sulking he decides to try his luck because, honestly, the answer to that Seme and Uke question is pretty obvious. 

“I think I should get the seme pin.” He says, with the straightest face he can manage. 

Akechi looks at him for ten long seconds and Akira almost believes he is going to shot him right there. 

“What’s your reasoning?” Akechi finally asks. Death avoided. 

“Well, Futaba showed me a number of things about this yaoi business and right now I’m dressed as Joker.” He starts, trying to sound as technical as possible. “My costume is a black long coat and my color scheme is black. You, instead, are dressed as a white prince and your hair is long.” 

“And my hair is long.” Akechi repeats, neutral. He crosses his arms around his chest, like every time he goes into a defensive mode. “I understand how your points could make it seem like I’m the bottom of the relationship but you are forgetting something.” 

“What am I forgetting?” Akira asks, half interested and half still processing how Akechi just said ‘bottom of the relationship’ with his own mouth. 

“I’m older than you and a bit taller. I heard the vast majority of fujoshis prefer tops who are taller than the bottom, so it’s likely that Shiro Williams falls under that demographic.” 

“But does it even count if it’s a few inches? Also, my Joker boots have heels, I’m just as tall as you right now, if not more.” 

Akechi flinches a little at that. Akira smiles because it’s the truth and because it’s obvious that Akechi wants to be the top. ‘He really is competitive, huh?’ 

“You are forgetting our personalities, though.” Akechi retorts.

“Our personalities?” He parrots, he can’t believe Akechi is going full seme/uke thesis on him. 

“Yes, I don’t want to be disrespectful, but...” Oh, that ‘but’. Akira braces himself. “But even though I admit you have leadership qualities, you are still only a teen and don’t have a lot of experience in the real world. I’ve been working with adults for a long time, among other things... which means I’m more serious, mature and fit the credential to be the seme.” 

Well, Akira expected worse. He guesses Akechi is holding himself. But anyway, he still believes he should be the seme. 

“I’m not the one with a food blog.” He retorts. “What you said is kinda true, but that’s exactly why you would make a nice bottom.” 

“What?” 

“Futaba told me that fujoshis these days prefer young, rebellious semes who get through the walls of their older and more mature ukes. Believe me, what you said would be true a few years ago but the roles have changed recently.” 

Akechi looks at him for a long time and then sighs. 

“This argument won’t take us anywhere. In the end it all depends on Shiro William’s personal tastes.” He says, tired and with a faint blush on his ears, in the end the absurdity of the conversation had also gotten to him. “I say we investigate the couples that are dating around here and try to see the pattern that makes them be seme or ukes.” 

“That’s smart.” 

“Semes are usually the smart ones you know?”

Akira laughs at that because Akechi is incredibly petty. 

They decide to meet each other in half an hour to share whatever they have discovered. At least this part of the palace doesn’t seem aggressive since Akira doesn’t find any shadows to fight, it really looks like a normal gay ship. 

Half an hour later, Akira is not only tired but also pretty jealous. The couples he interviewed were all different, there wasn’t a single pattern that he could get out of them, besides the fact that they all had a lot of chemistry in that opposites-attract-way, and bickered a lot which was strange because not soon after they would be lovey-dovey again. 

When Akira sees Akechi the detective is wearing a frown on his face. 

“No luck?” Akira asks, drained. 

“It doesn’t make any sense.” starts Akechi, as distressed as Akira if not more. “Every time I thought I had a pattern the next couple contradicted it completely.” He admits. 

“Maybe we should try our luck, we have a 50% chance of getting it right.” 

“We can’t do that… There must be something…” 

Akechi puts his hand on his chin and thinks hard, so Akira tries to do the same. All the palaces have puzzles, this is nothing new, but this one is so subjective that it’s impossible to get a satisfying result. Akira still believes he has made good points about him being the seme, but Akechi had good points too… 

Oh, wait! 

“I think I know the answer.” Akira announces, excited. 

“I told you, Joker, I’m the top.”

“No, no, come with me, let’s go to the fountain.” 

They go to the fountain where the pretty shadow is waiting. Akira is sure he has the right answer, but Akechi doesn’t look the least convinced. 

“You sure took your time, uwu.” Says the shadow. “I was starting to think you went to a room to make out to find out.” 

“Wait, that was an option?!” 

“Joker, focus.” 

“Yes. Uh… Shadow, do you have ‘Suke’ pins?” He tries. 

Akechi lets out a surprised “oh” finally getting what Akira’s idea is. They both look at the Shadow, who is staring at them intensely. 

“So you switch? Is that your answer, uwu?” The shadow asks, serious. 

Futaba had told Akira about people who didn't mind who was top or bottom. That kind of ships weren’t the most popular but they definitely existed. Akira imagined that if he and Akechi were having so much trouble to tag themselves as one thing it had to mean that they possessed switch energy. 

“Yes, that’s my answer, uwu” Akira says, not even sure why he added the uwu. It’s contagious. 

“...” The shadow gives them a pair of suke pins and once they are firmly attached to their Joker and Crow outfit, the pins start to glow, making a ding! sound. 

“UWU! It seems you both passed the test! My master will gladly meet with you now!” 

Akira and Akechi release the breath they didn’t know they were holding. 

“Now you also have access to all the areas of the ship, have a good stay, uwu!” The cute shadow gives them one last smile before leaving. 

Suddenly, a rainbow with the shape of a staircase appears, connecting the main floor with the upper floor, where Shiro Williams probably is staying. Joker smiles and exhales a little, he had been nervous after all. When he looks at Akechi, though, he isn’t as happy as he would have expected. 

“Crow?” 

“Ah… It seems you have made it again, Joker.” Akechi’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes. 

Akira is confused, is he disappointed? “Goro, are you upset?” He asks, because he feels bad. He is so worried he doesn’t even notice he has said Akechi’s first name. 

Akechi, on the contrary, notices that slip immediately. “They give you a pin and you already go on a first name basis?” he jokes, but looks quite uncomfortable while doing so. 

“You can call me Akira, if you want.” He tries. 

“It’s alright, Kurusu. And no, I have no reason to be upset.” 

Akira knows he is lying, but he is not sure if he should insist on it. Akechi seems to be the kind of person who hates to show weakness, or just show his true emotions at all, so he lets it be, even if it makes him upset as well. All his friends and confidants have opened up to him easily with time, what makes Akechi so different? 

“Alright.” Says Joker. “But if there’s something bothering you just tell me, after all I’m the one who told you to come.” 

“And I agreed to it, didn’t I? Don’t worry, I won’t disappoint you.” Akechi repeats, as pleasant as ever, which doesn’t mean a lot. 

“You would never disappoint me.” Akira says, because he wants to believe it. 

They start climbing the rainbow stairs in silence. Akira can’t stop thinking about how he still hasn’t discovered anything about Akechi, he is failing and he doesn't know what to do. He wishes his teammates were there with him, they would surely come up with a number of excellent ideas, but he knows this is something he has to do alone. When they get to the top of the rainbow, a long corridor presents in front of them. 

“Looks like we will have to go through a labyrinth to get to Shiro Williams.” Announces Akechi, already walking forward. 

“Yeah, at least this one has the lights on.” Comments Akira, remembering the casino in Sae’s palace. “I’m still surprised we haven’t fought a single Shadow.”

“Maybe today’s our lucky day.”   

They walk through the corridor until they get to a closed door. 

“It seems I talked too soon, we will need a key.” Says Akechi. 

“Exploring time it is, then!” 

They turn around trying to find another corridor with a room that has the key. Since there aren’t any shadows around so their pace is normal, ‘this palace really is different’ thinks Akira, as they turn around and walk through a corridor that, unlike the other corridors, has a rainbow carpet. 

They think nothing of it and keep walking, a fatal mistake. 

The more he walks, the more strange Akira suddenly feels.  Akechi must be feeling strange as well because when Akira looks at him, the detective is staring back with a weird face. 

It’s nice, Akira thinks, seeing Akechi making a surprised, honest expression. So he tells him. 

“You are really pretty, did you know that?” 

Akira freezes. 

WHY DID HE SAY THAT?! He looks at Akechi terrified. 

Akechi doesn’t look bothered at all. “Thank you, Akira, I think you are pretty too, I love how the Joker costume looks on you.” 

Akechi freezes too, even more mortified than Akira. 

“Sorry! I don’t know why I said that!” Corrects Akechi quickly, but then adds. “Your curly hair is amazing as well.” 

Akira is left speechless. _What.the.fuck._

Akechi looks like he wants to kill himself. What is going on? Why are they talking like that!? Did they die!? No, it must have to do with the palace. Akira looks at the corridor and notices how it’s the only one with a rainbow carpet. Oh shit. 

Does this corridor make them say gay things?! 

He tries to tell Akechi about his discovery but when he looks at him, Akechi’s face looks so worried and honest and vulnerable that his mouth just blurts out a loud: 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Nooooo someone kill him. 

“Y-Yes, of course.” 

Oh my god. Maybe he can die later, after the kiss. Akira’s mind is a complete mess, luckily, he notices a room near them, surely a nice non-magic room with the key they need. But will they get to that room before they kiss? Akira doesn’t even know what he wants, his head is useless right now.

“T-The room…” Akechi seems to notice as well, he doesn’t even sound fake nice as he always do, only plain desperate. 

They haven’t stopped walking so they are about to get to the room. Akira’s hand is even on the handle! But his hand stops in the middle of opening it and instead goes to Crow’s mask, taking it off from his face with a lot of care. 

Akira is sweating. Akechi’s face is as red as his mask. 

“Your eyes are beautiful” Akira says, because he is an asshole. Then he puts his hand on Akechi’s cheek and starts getting closer to him. 

“I’m gonna kill you… with love.” Akechi blurts out, completely confused.

And Akechi must have a lot of mental strength because while Akira is trying to kiss him, Akechi manages to open the door and throw them both inside. The magic breaks immediately and Akira is faced with the terror of having to deal with the consequences. 

Except they don’t come. 

“S-So that’s how Shiro Williams sees her own employers.” Akechi says quickly. “She really must be forcing them to do that kind of stuff for her pleasure, we can’t tolerate that sick behaviour.” He continues, acting as normal as he can for someone whose cheeks are still incredibly red.

While Akechi keeps babbling, Akira stands up, still trying to process everything that happened, he can’t believe Akechi is really going to ignore it, but that the same time, maybe it’s for the best. That was nothing but a palace trick, what they said and almost did was fake. 

Akira repeats the same words over and over again inside his head, because he can’t help but feel a bit upset and he doesn’t understand why. Or more accurately, doesn’t want to know why. 

“...Oh, a treasure chest. The key must be there.” Akira finally says, in a tone that makes him cringe because of how upset he sounds. 

“Joker?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I said there’s another door with a normal corridor.” 

“Oh” Focus, Akira, focus. “Perfect, I got the key, let’s return to that main door.”

He follows Crow through a normal corridor. He is still thinking about the almost kiss when Akechi stops walking. Akira looks at him with confusion until he looks at the ground and understands why he is looking so uneasy. 

There’s another corridor with a rainbow carpet. 

Akira is still processing that while Akechi says something along the line of “I will look around to see if there’s another way to get to the door.” A few minutes later Crow comes back with a sour face.

“No luck?” Akira asks. 

“It’s okay, if we cross this corridor individually we won’t say anything we don’t mean.” Says the brunette, trying to sound convincing. 

 _‘Anything we don’t mean?’_ Is that what Akechi tells himself? Akira knows he meant everything he said, even if he would never admit it to absolutely anyone. But if what he did was honest, that would also mean that Akechi really thought he was pretty, and that he had good hair. 

Wow. 

“Alright, I will go first.” He tells Akechi, but when he tries to put a foot on the corridor, a huge barrier appears and doesn’t let him advance. “W-Woah, what is that?” 

“For the love of God, let me try.” Akechi says, starting to get impatient with this whole thing. Akira wonders when will Akechi lose all of his patience, because he looks like he is at his limit. 

Akechi tries to walk through the corridor alone but that barrier appears again. He frowns and looks at Akira, frustrated. 

“What is it?” Akira asks. 

“Isn’t it obvious? We can only cross the corridor if we go together. They won’t let us advance individually.” Akechi explains, angry because he doesn’t want to go through the same experience, Akira imagines. 

Akira looks at the carpet again, trying to prepare mentally. “Doesn’t it look a bit different compared to the other one? It’s still a rainbow but… The colors are off.” 

“Whatever, it’s not like we can do anything about it. Let’s get on with it quickly. Try to walk fast and talk as little as possible, I will do the same.”

 _Hoo Boy_ , where did that pleasant boy go? Akechi really is frustrated, he acts nothing like he did in the casino, so confident and charming. Akira feels like his bond with Akechi is growing slowly, not because they are getting friendlier or closer by any means, but because Akechi is showing him more about his true self, even if the boy doesn’t realize it himself. 

“Okay, let’s do this, Crow. My lips are sealed.” He jokes, and makes the gesture of zipping his mouth and throwing the zipp away. Akechi gives him an unamused glare and, with a big breath, both boys walk forward into the magic corridor at the same time.

They walk in silence for a few minutes. Akira tries not to talk and he even starts to believe the magic is not affecting him this time because he isn’t trying to kiss Akechi. Maybe they won’t be faced with any problems, he thinks, overly optimistic, yet a few seconds later he starts to feel strange again. 

“Akechi...” He puts a hands on his mouth quickly. This time something is different, he doesn’t want to tell Akechi how pretty he is. That would be a superficial thought compared to what he is feeling right now. 

No, this time he wants to tell the detective everything about him, his life, his ambitions, his fears, he wants to pour his heart and open himself like he has never done before with anyone, not even the rest of the Phantom Thieves. 

Damn, that’s why the color was off! This stupid carpet has the magic of making them be honest with each other! 

Akira holds his breath. He can’t talk, no way, no way, if he does who knows what he could say, he might tell the whole plan to Akechi! Their effort would go to waste! 

But he really wants to tell him everything… He is drowning in the feeling of being able to tell everything Akechi about himself, no more secrets, no more lies, it’s so tempting to let everything go... 

NO, AKIRA, STOP. 

“Kurusu, I lied before…” Akechi says suddenly.

Akira didn’t expect him to talk first. He looks at him and finds Crow looking completely miserable, it’s obvious he doesn’t want to say whatever it is he is going to say next, but they have no choice. And this corridor is terribly long. 

“About what?” He asks, because he can’t help it. Is Akechi going to tell him that he is the murderer behind the mental shutdowns? That’s such a huge problem, and not how he wanted to know! He wanted Akechi to tell him himself, if he is manipulated into saying it, it will mean nothing. Actually, it will be way worse. Akira braces himself. 

“When I told you that I wasn’t upset… that was a lie. I am upset.” Akechi says instead, looking away, shy. Akira exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Okay, danger avoided for now. 

“I could tell.” Akira says, “But why? Did I do or say something that bothered you?” Being so open with Akechi is weird. Talking with him for the first time without feeling like he is stepping on eggs is… liberating. 

“I just… I… URH-” Akechi tries to cover his mouth but the magic is stronger, when he moves his hands away, he actually hisses. He must really hate being honest, huh. That’s what he gets for having so many secrets. 

(Not that he can complain, but at least he doesn’t kill people, so…) 

“I’m sorry” Akira says, because it’s obvious that this is very hard for the detective. 

“S-See, that’s what bothers me so much about you.” Retorts Akechi. 

“What?” 

“Why are you like t-this?” Akechi says, and the magic must be getting to him because he looks like he really wants to talk about that now.

“Like what?” Akira asks, because he genuinely doesn’t understand. 

“So… Perfect.” Akechi mutters, with a hateful voice. 

Akira doesn’t know what to say, he wasn’t expecting that, specially coming from Ace detective Akechi. 

“I was doing so good in the casino… I was being so useful. You all could have never gotten to Sae’s treasure room without my help. I was better and smarter than all of you.” He says, his cheeks red from embarrassment and something else. 

“You are right, we couldn’t have gotten the money without y-” Akira starts, but he is cut. 

“And then you ask me to come here, in this stupid palace, and I say yes because I’m stupid. Because your offer made me feel important.” Akechi continues. “I wanted to impress you.” his fists are clenched. “but since we got here you have become friends with shadows and solved all the puzzles! Why?!” 

Akira is so surprised at the revelation that he doesn’t know what to say. It’s hard for him to believe that the reason Akechi is upset is because he wanted to be better than him. Was this a competitive thing? Or there was something bigger underneath those words? 

“Goro…” 

“You don’t even work hard, you are just that good, aren’t you?” Barks Akechi, looking frustrated and gradually more angry. “You don’t excel at anything. You don’t have the looks, the intelligence, for God’s sake, you live in an attic! Then why, why do you have everything I don’t?” 

Akira gasps when he realizes just how incredibly jealous and insecure Akechi really is under all that confident and smiley facade. He has never believed to be better than Akechi, he doesn’t even compare himself to other people in that way, so he is lost at what to say. 

The only thing he knows is that this honest version of Akechi, the real one, would be capable of murdering him. If he had any doubts before, now he is sure. 

“Do you hate me?” Akira doesn’t even know why he asks him that. 

Akechi looks at the ground and then laughs, defeated, ashamed. “I don’t.”

Despite everything, and deep inside his heart, Akira feels a Rank up.


	2. Chapter 2

Goro arrives to his apartment that same Sunday at night. He is unusually thirsty so he walks to the kitchen and serves himself a glass of water.

He then proceeds to spend the next ten minutes in the middle of the kitchen, doing absolutely nothing, too absorbed in his own thoughts, the glass of water long forgotten in his hand.

"Shit."  
  
He, of all people, had fucked up. Almost threw everything to shit. Three years of hard work nearly lost because of that fucking attic trash.  
  
His head can’t stop replaying what happened in the palace. He had been so utterly pathetic behaving like that, and in front of _him_ , no less.  
  
Goro looks at the glass of water and considers throwing it on the floor, making it break into a million pieces. It is so tempting…

Instead, he puts it back to the sink. He is better than that, he isn’t some stupid animal who can’t control himself.  
  
But still, he is angry.

***

  
_‘I don't hate you.’_  
  
In Shiro William's palace, just after telling Kurusu that, both boys had arrived at the end of the corridor, where the magic carpet had no effect on them anymore.  

“...”  
  
Neither of them said anything. Kurusu had looked so uncomfortable, it was hilarious. Goro was sure the curly haired boy was laughing at him internally, feeling good about knowing that the seemingly perfect and confident detective was actually jealous of him.  
  
Kurusu was polite enough not to laugh, though. He only grabbed the key and opened the door that would make them advance in the palace.  
  
Unfortunately, the next area was a strange circular room with only one door: a safe room, a dead end. Goro figured that they would have to solve a puzzle to advance, but his mind couldn't focus at all. 

Kurusu was the first to break the silence.  
  
"Should we stop here for today?" he asked with a cautious tone.

"No." Goro internally flinched, his voice had come out harsher than he expected. He quickly tried to mask it with a bright laugh. “I mean, why should we stop now? Are you already tired, leader?”

Was Kurusu so uncomfortable with him that he wanted to leave the palace? A strong feeling of shame and failure plagued Goro.

“No, I’m not tired,” denied Kurusu. “I just thought that you might want to stop for today-”  
  
Goro cut him. "No, I'm perfectly capable of continuing.” then, realizing how defensive he sounded, added with a charismatic smile, “This room looks like a dead end but I'm sure there's a hidden mechanic, I just need some time to discover how to solve it."  
  
He kept his tone even, professional and kind, like always.  
  
"If you are so sure..." Joker said, uncertain.  
  
"Of course I am, that's why I'm here after all, am I not?" He insisted. "Let's discover the truth behind all of this. Shiro Williams needs to be brought to justice."  
  
That seemed to convince Joker. "Alright, let's get to work!"  
  
Honestly, Goro couldn't care less about that shitty palace or Shiro Williams, but now that he had fucked up he needed to be on his best behaviour.

But still, shouldn’t he adress what just happened in the corridor? A normal, friendly person who had nothing to hide would apologize, right? If he avoided the matter, Kurusu might think that Goro was actually affected, and that was intolerable.

Goro clenched his fists. He really should talk about it, put the matter to rest, show Joker that he didn’t care. And yet, he couldn’t get himself to mention the incident. What a fucking mess.  
  
Fourteen days. Only fourteen days more until the 20th of december... and then he would shoot Joker and he would be able to forget about this.  
  
He just hoped that before that, Kurusu wouldn't tell his friends about it.  
  
_'Can you believe it, guys? Akechi said I have good hair, and then he started whining about wanting to be better than me! He tries to hide it so much but actually he really is pathetic.'_  
  
Imagining Kurusu saying that was making him sick.  
  
"Akechi..."  
  
"Hm... ah, yes?"  
  
"About what happened before... Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
Shut the fuck up.  
  
"Oh... Well, I really should apologize for that, shouldn’t I?" Goro forced himself to say, putting on his best smile. "I've been very stressed with work and school lately. I'm sorry If I sounded rude before, I didn't mean what I said at all, obviously.”

“Ah, well-…”

“Palaces are distorted places,” he explained. ”So it’s only normal that the magic that affected us also distorted my words.”

Kurusu nodded numbly, crearly unconvinced.  Wasn’t he buying it? _Whatever._ Goro could fix it, he was a wonderful actor.

He got closer to Joker. “I mean it, it is true that sometimes I consider you a rival, but that doesn’t need to be a bad thing,” He put his hand on Kurusu’s shoulder. Did he do it to establish dominance or to make himself appear friendly? He wasn’t sure. “I see our relationship in the thesis and anthesis way I mentioned when I met you.”  
  
Kurusu looked sideways at his shoulder. "...Hegel."  
  
"You remember!" Goro gave him a bright smile. "Indeed, so really, the magic made my words sound distorted, but that's not what I think at all, quite the contrary. I’m glad I got to meet someone as interesting as you.”  
  
Goro felt the corners of his smiling mouth faltering, but he kept it up as much as he could. Kurusu scratched the back of his head.  
  
"It's alright, I think the same too. We make a good team, Crow." Kurusu smiled faintly, not quite meeting his eyes.  
  
"We do." Goro smiled at him one last time and lifted his hand from Joker’s shoulder.  
  
After that, they worked together to advance the palace without another word that wasn't related to work. Sadly, they couldn't find the treasure room and neither the palace ruler, Shiro Williams' cognitive version, so they returned to the real world as it was getting too late.

After deciding that they would have to go back to the palace another day, the thieves said their goodbyes in Shibuya station, and Goro went directly to his apartment.

 

***

 

Goro is about to go to sleep to forget that awful day when his phone starts to ring.

Exhausted, he grabs the phone, expecting to see an unknown number (Shido) but is surprised to see it's not him but...  
  
"Kurusu?"  
  
Why the hell is he calling him? He accepts the call.  
  
"This is Goro Akechi." He says, just to make sure.  
  
"Hey, were you sleeping already?"  
  
Goro considers telling him yes, just to make him feel bad.  
  
"No, I wasn't. Is there a problem?"  
  
"Does there need to be a problem? Can't I just call to chat with you?" says Kurusu, probably grinning.  
  
_What the fuck?_  
  
"Haha if that's the case, I would be surprised. I didn't take you for the kind of person to enjoy phone calls."  
  
"Why do you think that?"  
  
_Because you barely ever talk, you fuck?_  
  
"You’re quiet." Chooses to say Goro, starting to feel a strong headache growing. "But If you really have nothing to talk about I should go to sleep. There's school tomorrow, after all."  
  
"Ah, of course."  
  
Goro knows Kurusu isn't calling him to simply chat, he isn't the kind of person who does things just for the hell of it. There's always a purpose behind his actions, something to gain. In that aspect, they are quite similar.  
  
Since Kurusu probably wants to talk about what happened in the palace –again– and Goro really doesn't feel like it, he decides to cut it out.

"Well then, good bye-"  
  
"Akechi-"  
  
_...Patience yields focus._  
  
Goro pinches the bridge of his nose. "Yes, Kurusu?"  
  
"I know we already talked about this, but... you had to be forcefully honest with me in the palace and I don't think that's fair, so I wanted to be honest with you too."

“Is this a love confession?” jokes Goro, if only to gain extra time to think on what to say.

He hears a strong _‘thud’_ at the other side of the line.

“Kurusu? Are you alright?”

“Y-Yeah.” Says the boy with a pained voice. “I-I will have to turn down the confession, though, I’m already hated in all Japan for murder, I don’t want to be hated by your fangirls as well.”

“Such a heart stealer,” Goro deadpans, clear sarcasm in his voice.

“You have your reputation, I have mine.” Kurusu teases. “But really, let me be honest with you.”

"You don't have to do this." Says Goro with a strained voice and a frown.

_I don't care. You will die soon. I don't care._  
  
Kurusu doesn’t seem to notice his uneasiness, though, because he continues to talk excitedly. "When you hear me out you won't say the same, get ready for some quality content."  
  
Goro sighs. _Only fourteen days._

"Okay, what is it?" He finally asks, barely pretending to sound interested.  
  
Kurusu is silent for a few seconds, and then he says it.

“I… I also think that your hair is nice.”

“...”

“Ryuji always makes fun of it but-I-think-it-actually-suits-you!” He continues comically fast.

“Wait- Sakamoto makes fun of _my_ hair?”

"ALSO, my glasses are fake! I’ve never told anyone and honestly now it’s just too late, I’m a fraud..."

There's a prolonged silence.  
  
"Wow! Thank you so much for being honest with me, Kurusu, good night-"  
  
"Nonono I have more!"  
  
"Kurusu..."  
  
"My first persona was called Arsene and he was super cool, but I fucked up and fused him with another persona. I lost Arsene and got a gremlin inside a pot."  
  
"You _what_ -?"  
  
"Arsene was so epic, sometimes I cry when I think about it."  
  
Akechi tries to imagine what would happen if he lost Loki in exchange for some shitty persona, and he feels a bit of empathy for Kurusu. Only a bit, though.  
  
"I'm sorry for your loss." He says.  
  
"Thanks, I appreciate it."  
  
Goro lies down on his bed, if he has to go through this he will at least be comfortable, physically speaking. "Did you really cry, though? It's hard to imagine."  
  
"Ah, you are right, I actually didn’t cry-cry. I just stared into the nothingness and let it consume me."  
  
Goro knows Kurusu is trying to be funny, but he almost says ‘same’.  
  
"Everyone copes loss in different ways." Goro settles for saying.  
  
"Still..." continues Kurusu. "I think the last time I cried  was when I was falsely accused, back in my hometown."  
  
"...Falsely?"  
  
Goro knows about the assault; he had investigated Kurusu when he discovered he was the leader of the Phantom Thieves. Although he has to admit that when he read his case file he thought the whole thing was sketchy, he quickly forgot about it because Kurusu being a shitty criminal wasn’t that unthinkable.

Kurusu lets out a humorless laugh. "Yeah, falsely. A man –a politician, I think– tried to force a woman. When I tried to protect her..."  
  
Kurusu tells him the whole story while Goro listens intently.

“Have you tried to change the politician’s heart?” asks Goro finally.

“I don’t remember his face nor his name, so there’s not much I can do.” admits Kurusu, and he sounds a bit frustrated.

Goro always thought that, unlike him, Kurusu was free from his past, but after hearing this he is starting to think that Kurusu might be more human than he expected.

“Sometimes-” Kurusu says, unsure. “I wish that the Phantom Thieves had existed back then. They would have made that politician confess and my parents wouldn’t think that his son is a criminal.”

“There’s no use talking about hypotheticals, the past can’t be changed...” says Goro with a strained voice, he realizes how hypocrite his words are.

Deep inside, he also wished that the Phantom Thieves had existed before. If they had been there three years ago, then-

No, that train of thought was dangerous and meaningless now.  
  
“You’re right, the past can’t be changed.” Kurusu agrees. “But still, fuck that corrupt politician.”

Kurusu sounds so childish and human that Goro can’t help but laugh. “Yeah,” he agrees. “Fuck that corrupt politician.”

_Fuck Shido._

Kurusu gasps at the other side of the line. “Wow! Did ace detective Goro Akechi just say fuck?”

“Oh-! I was- I was merely repeating what you said, I-I didn’t mean to-”

Kurusu laughs. “No, no take backs allowed. I can’t believe it, even Ryuji can’t say fuck.”

“I really shouldn’t have said that.” Goro apologizes, once again.

“It’s okay, really, it kind of suits you.”

“Should I take this as an insult?” asks Goro without malice. He bites his lip unconsciously, somehow, despite himself, he’s having a good time.

“What? No! You actually sounded kinda...”

“Kinda what?” teases Goro.

“Ah come on, are you going to make me say it? Kinda–”

Goro doesn’t get to hear what comes next, because the voice of a sleepy Morgana interrupts Kurusu, who quickly starts apologizing to the cat.

_“Sorry, Mona, did I wake you up-? No, I just- I wasn’t sleepy- Morgana, please, I’m a teenager I can’t go to sleep at 9pm! This is reverse animal abuse-!”_

Goro doesn’t have a lot of experience in the parenting department, but Morgana really sounds like a mom scolding his child. Despite how embarrassed must feel Kurusu, listening to those two banter in such a honest way makes Goro feel a bit jealous.

But wait, isn’t that what he had been doing with Kurusu just now…?

“Sorry, Goro, I should really go to sleep.” Akira says, apologetic. Goro can hear Morgana saying something like _“Did you just call him Goro?!”_

Goro is also surprised by how casually his first name came through Kurusu’s lips. He feels his cheeks start to burn and his throat tightening, so he coughs to regain his voice. “It’s- It’s quite alright, I should go to sleep as well. And I wouldn’t want Morgana to get more mad at you.”

“Haha yeah… Sorry you had to hear that, it’s kind of embarrassing.”

“Not at all.” lies Goro, cheerfully. “Well, then… Good night, Kurusu.”

“Sleep well, Goro.”

And then he ends the call.

Goro places his phone on the nightstand and stares at the ceiling.

As much as he wishes he could _‘sleep well_ ’ he knows he will likely stay up the whole night overthinking. Kurusu had been trying to share embarrassing facts about himself to make Goro feel better, right? To make them equals.

He should feel angry, but he only feels tired. Why is Kurusu being nice to him all of a sudden when they barely exchanged a few words in the past? (and Goro did most of the work on that front since Kurusu was Mr. I-might-die-If-I-say-more-than-three-sentences.)

Goro sighs, frustrated. He had worked so hard to be friendly and likable enough so the Phantom Thieves would trust and confide in him. After all, it was a big part of the plan, the same plan that had been compromised the second Goro had spilled all that bullshit to Kurusu in the palace today.

He had been very worried about losing all the trust he had worked so hard to gain, and yet it seemed that the opposite effect had happened. Kurusu had seen a fragment of Goro’s true nature and, instead of rejecting him, he had tried to reach him, get closer to him.

Goro smiles proudly to himself.

That… That’s good, Kurusu would trust him blindly now. In the end, everything would go according to plan! Now he only had to wait a few days and kill him. It was a necessary step in order to win the long game he was playing. Losing was not an option, after all, because if he lost-

Goro laughs, alone, incredulous. If everything is going perfectly then why... Why can’t he stop wishing they had met a few years earlier?

Goro notices a slight crack on his ceiling and closes his eyes. Sometimes turning a blind eye is the wisest choice.

He doesn’t sleep at all that night.

 

***

 

The next time Goro sees Kurusu is on a Wednesday morning at the Shibuya station.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” Goro greets him, with a charming smile and the intention to throw Kurusu off.

But of course, Kurusu answers without missing a beat. “Not as beautiful as you, Honey.” and then he gives him a lazy and welcoming smirk that Goro definitely ignores.

“Did you miss the train?” asks Goro, strategically staring at his wrist watch. “I noticed that we only meet here on the days when you oversleep.”

“Ugh.” Kurusu flinches and gives him a guilty smile. “Good deduction, have you ever considered becoming a detective?” he teases.

Goro grins. “I don’t know, lately I’m discovering that I’m pretty good at thievery.”

“They aren’t mutually exclusive, you can always steal things and solve the cases yourself.”

“Kurusu, you really are a terrible influence.” Goro laughs, equally impressed and alarmed because _shit,_ that hit too close home.

“What can I say, I’m a wanted man.” Kurusu jokes, and scratches his bed-hair, which is even messier than usual. Not a bad look per se but-

Ah, he is getting distracted.

“Before I forget-” says Kurusu, who seems distracted as well. “Can you meet me at the church this afternoon?”

“At the church?”

“Yes, we... need to go to the confessionary.”

“The confe- Excuse me?”

“You need to confess your sins, Goro.”

“W-What?”

_Wait, what?! Did he mess up? How- When did he-?_

“Nah I was joking.” Kurusu grins. “A friend of mine gave me the contact of one of Shiro William’s victims. It seems that he really wishes to talk with us in person but doesn’t want to reveal his face, so I thought the confessionary would be the best place to talk with him.”

_Motherfucke- Don’t scare me like that!_

“Haha I see! Then I’ll make sure to clear my schedule to come.” Goro says instead.

“Good! Ah that’s my train, see you later then.” Kurusu waves him goodbye.

“Have a good day at school.” Goro also waves. When Kurusu disappears he almost shows him the middle finger, almost.

 

***

 

“Is he already inside the confessionary?” Asks Kurusu.

“Yeah.” replies Goro. “I can see his feet under the door.”

Goro had only just arrived to the church and he already wants to leave.

“What if it is the priest?” whispers Kurusu, paranoid.

“Then go inside the confessionary and I’m sure you will know _immediately_.”

This whole meetup is stupid. If the victim doesn’t want to show them his face they could have talked by chat!

“Go inside with me,” insists Kurusu.

“No.” Goro’s answer comes remarkably fast, but he adds, with mounting suspicion, “You are acting really strange. Do you have a personal problem with the church’s priest or something?”

When Kurusu doesn’t answer for a few seconds Goro regrets for even asking. “Do I want to know why?”

With a mysterious smile, Kurusu fixes his glasses in a way that makes them glint. “It’s a long story, Yusuke was there–”

“Now really is not the best time for a long story,” interrupts him Goro.

Kurusu shrugs. “You’re the one who asked.” He fixes his glasses again, going back to the ordinary, unassuming looking boy. “But I still think we both should go inside.”

“Akira.” Goro smiles, using Kurusu’s first name for shock value. “I have never been inside a confessionary before, but I’m pretty sure they are made so only one person can fit.” He tries to use a polite tone, despite how idiotic everything is.

How the Phantom Thieves ever got so far without being caught still escapes him. Goro is pretty sure that the whole group shares a total of two brain cells.

“If you don’t want to do it, then I will go alone.” Goro says, patience running low. “After all, I’m used to interrogating people because of the nature of my job.”

Kurusu doesn’t seem very convinced, but he nods. “Alright, but call me if you need help. I’ll be next to your door so I’ll hear everything you both say.”

“If somebody sees you eavesdropping behind a confessionary, it will be a problem.” Goro notes.

He swears, one damn brain cell.

“Don’t worry, there’s never anyone at church at this hour.”

“...Alright.” Goro decides it is best not to ask why the hell Kurusu knows that.

He goes inside the confessionary.

As Goro had expected, the booth is very small, kind of like the size of those disgusting toilets that can be found in trains. In one of the four walls, there is a diminutive, opaque window with a few holes that don’t let you see what is on the other side but allow a verbal communication to be established.

Goro gets closer to that window. “Hello,” he starts. “Ai Takehara?”

There is a long silence until the voice of a nervous, young boy breaks it. “Is this… are you a Phantom Thief?”

“I think so, yeah,” replies Goro, kindly. “I’ve been told  that you got into trouble because of Shiro Williams, can you tell me what happened?”

Judging by Ai’s baritone voice and the fact that he used to work as a butler, Goro can guess Ai is an attractive teen of around fifteen years old.

Ai sounds stressed, distrustful. “I told everybody what happened, but nobody believed me. That… that woman used me and got away with it, and now she is too rich and popular for me to do anything against her.”

Goro knows that feeling of impotence very well– not being able to get back at a powerful figure is frustrating.

Good thing supernatural powers exist.

“I believe you, Takehara-san, so don’t feel hopeless. We, the Phantom Thieves, will expose Shiro Williams so she can be judged for her sins.” declares Goro, maybe a bit too overdramatic.

There’s a moment of silence. “Expose her…? Wait, you won’t kill her?” asks Takehara, sounding confused.

Goro is confused too. “Excuse me?”

“You killed that Big Bang Burger CEO, right? Won’t you do the same with that sick bitch?” hisses Takehara, unexpectedly aggressive.

Goro didn’t expect that kind of reaction. “That’s not-”

But he is interrupted when his booth door suddenly opens and a panicked Kurusu enters forcefully, throwing himself at Goro and quickly closing the door behind them.

“What the hell are you doing, Kurusu-” yells Goro, getting pressed against the wall as there’s obviously no space.

“Shhh.” Kurusu puts a hand on Goro’s mouth and the detective almost snaps there and then.

“Someone saw me.” whispers Kurusu, overly worried. “Seriously, who goes to church on a Wednesday afternoon?” He complains dramatically to no one.

Goro slaps Kurusu’s hand away. “You are stepping on my foot. Get out, we don’t fit in here.”

“I swear I can’t, I’m on probation. If the person sees me I can get in serious trouble.”

Shit, if Kurusu really gets into trouble because of his probation and gets sent to juvie, Goro’s plan of killing him will be seriously compromised.

Goro sighs, frustrated. “Alright, you can stay, but stop moving so much.”

“Thanks, dude.” says Kurusu, uncharacteristically casual, then adds. “Woah doesn’t it smell really nice in here?”

“Does it? It smells normal to me.” retorts Goro, annoyed for too many reasons to count.

“No, really.” Kurusu insists. He gets closer to Goro. “Ah, I think it’s your cologne.”

“Are you messing with me?” Goro quickly complains, blinking and clearing his throat.

“Only a little.” Kurusu teases, grinning.

“You–”

“Um… is everything alright?” the poor kid at the other side asks. Goro had completely forgotten about him.

“Oh right, the kid.” Says Kurusu, admitting out loud and without shame that he also forgot Ai was there. Kurusu gets closer to Goro and whispers in his ear. “What did I miss?”

“He thinks we murder people.” Goro whispers back, deadpan.

“ _Oh_.”

Goro sighs. The proximity of Kurusu frustrates him on another level. He has always been very protective of his personal space, and the fact that precisely Kurusu is invading it is- well, the worst.

“Ai, we don’t kill people.” says Kurusu, getting closer to the window and consequently, to Akechi’s face. “We are not murderers.”

Goro lets out an ironic, crooked smile. Hah, if Kurusu knew…

“But I hate her so much…” retorts Ai. “After everything she did she deserves to die.”

Kurusu seems troubled by Ai’s words, yet he hides it pretty well with a patient expression. He speaks with a soft voice meant to calm the boy. “Why? If she confesses, everyone will know the real story, every single person who didn’t believe you will realize you were telling the truth.” He tries to reason. “Isn’t that better than just killing her?”

“That’s… the problem.” Ai says with a shaky voice.

“Huh? Why?”

“If that woman confesses…” starts Ai. “She will say every single bad thing that she has done.”

“And where’s the problem in that?” Goro asks, losing patience.

Ai doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. Goro can feel Kurusu’s breath on his neck. He absentmindedly notices that the curly haired boy smells like Leblanc’s coffee. Goro makes a mental note to visit the café soon, he really needs the calm ambiance and the caffeine after this.

Ai seems to have found his voice again, because he finally resumes talking. “I… When I worked for Shiro Williams she made me do a lot of things that I’m not proud of. Just remembering what I did makes me feel so sick I forget how to breathe.”

Ai makes a strangled noise. It’s obvious that it’s taking him a lot of strength to tell them this.

“I was in such a bad place back then that I could barely think straight. Because of that, she... manipulated me into finding more guys for her café, I knew what she was going to do to them and yet… I helped her, I-I still don’t know why.” Ai’s voice is trembling. “Because of that…”

Akechi finishes it for him. “You are afraid that when she confesses her sins, she also takes you down with her.”

“Yes.” Ai sobs. “I’m so scared… I want her to atone, but I don’t want her to tell everyone what I did, I swear I didn’t do it on purpose-”

Ai’s sobs start becoming more and more prominent, Goro is pretty sure the boy is close to hyperventilation.

As much as Goro thinks Ai is acting incredibly annoying and weak, he understands where the boy is coming from. If Shido had a change of heart and confessed, Goro’s life would be done for. Everything would be exposed: his fake detective career, his connection with the mental shutdowns, his actual job as a hitman... Hell, he would rather die than to let the truth come out.

“Ai, calm down and breathe.” orders Kurusu, with an authoritative yet calm voice. “Nothing will happen to you.”

“But- But I…”

“What’s done is done, you can’t change what you did while you were under Shiro William’s influence.” adds Kurusu with a non-judging tone meant to comfort the boy.

Goro rolls his eyes. The always noble and just Kurusu. Goro is sure that if the leader of the Phantom Thieves knew the truth about him, he wouldn’t react in the same kind, non-judgmental way. What a fucking hypocrite.

“I know that I can’t change what I did…” Ai says, scared. “But then…What are you going to do?”

“We won’t kill her, and that’s final.” Kurusu says, without a trace of doubt.

Ai lets out a trembling breath. “Y-Yeah… You are right, I shouldn’t have said such a horrible thing” he realizes, sounding guilty. “I’m sorry for even suggesting that.”

“It’s alright.” Kurusu says with a smile. “But... If you don’t want us to change her heart either, we won’t do it.”

Goro, not too involved until then, turns to look at Kurusu, startled. _“_ Wait _, what?”_

“-You are the victim, Ai, so you should be able to choose.” continues Kurusu, putting a hand over Goro’s shoulder and smiling apologetically for not answering him.

Despite that, Goro stares at Kurusu with a heavy gaze. Is he a bigger idiot than he previously thought? Only because a victim doesn’t give him permission he won’t change someone’s heart?

“But,” continues Kurusu. “If you let us, we will bring her to justice.”

“I… I can’t.” says Ai, to no one’s surprise.

“I only ask for you to consider it.” Insists Kurusu. “You may have messed up and brought her potential workers, but  if you let us stop her now, you will save a lot of future victims.”

Goro rolls his eyes. Ai won’t accept the deal. No one in their right mind would trade their freedom and reputation only to save a few kids, Ai is going to decline, he has too much to lose–

“...A-Alright.”

_What?_

“I… will face whatever consequences come when Shiro confesses…” Ai’s voice is shaking.

“Are you sure?” Goro asks, bewildered, before he can stop himself.

“I can’t sleep at night thinking about what I did to those other boys… if Shiro confesses everything… I know I will get into a lot of trouble...”

“Exactly, then why would you sacrifice yourself for a few strangers?” the detective insists, ignoring Kurusu’s quizzical look.

“Because... If Shiro confesses, I’m sure I will be able to sleep again, knowing that I did the right thing.”

Ai is not sobbing anymore, his voice is still shaky but it’s obvious that he has made up his mind.

“I give you permission. Please, change Shiro William’s heart.” Ai begs, determined and sounding nothing like the shaking mess he was before.

“We promise.” Kurusu nods, and then looks at Goro with a proud, winning smile. “We will take Shiro down.”

Goro returns him a weak smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah, we will.”

After that, Kurusu tries to comfort Ai a bit more, or at least that’s what Goro guesses he is doing, since he is no longer paying attention to them. His mind is roiling with thoughts about Kurusu. How could a mediocre boy like him change someone’s beliefs so quickly? How did Kurusu manage to move Ai’s heart with such a stupid, cliché speech?

And why did Goro almost fall for it too?

Goro stares at the confessionary floor. The same questions that keep pestering him come back with force: What makes people want to trust Kurusu so much?

Kurusu is nothing but an ordinary teenager who hides behind fake glasses in the real world and behind a mask in the metaverse.

A quiet, rebellious soul with a criminal record that sometimes acts insufferably indifferent and other times becomes endearingly flashy and cheeky.

A boy with a strong sense of justice and a saviour complex who is always surrounded by people who support him.

Akira Kurusu is the leader of the Phantom Thieves, and the only person that has managed to stir something in Goro’s otherwise numb heart.

Goro absentmindedly notices that his hands are shaking. He lets out a shaky breath and tells himself that the reason he feels so anxious is because of the the claustrophobia of being in such a small place for so long.

 

***

 

“You knew the kid was going to accept, right?” Goro can’t help but ask Kurusu later, on their way from the church to the train station.

“I had a feeling that he would agree, yes, but I wasn’t completely sure.” replies Kurusu casually, with his hands in his pockets and a relaxed posture that contrasts Goro’s stiff one.

“What would have you done if he had said no? Surely you couldn’t have been serious when you suggested we would leave Shiro Williams alone.”

Kurusu laughs. “Ah no, she is a criminal after all, we can’t let her go unpunished… There are a lot of kids suffering because of her after all.”

“Then you lied to Ai.” Says Goro, impressed.

So Kurusu was like him, he also lied and manipulated people for his own agenda-

“No, I didn’t lie.” says Kurusu, cancelling Goro’s thoughts. “I told Ai that we wouldn’t change Shiro William’s heart and I meant it. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have tried to find another way to expose her. Futaba’s hacking skills come handy for that.” He smiles.

“Ah… I see. Always the gentleman thief.” Goro looks away with a troubled smile.

How stupid of him, thinking Kurusu was capable of lying. Of course not, Akira was too _heroic_ for that.

“You don’t look happy.” Notes Kurusu.

“I was merely thinking about what just happened. Ai made a very brave decision.”

“If you had been on Ai’s place what would have you done?” Asks Kurusu, genuinely curious.

Goro gives him his best TV smile and winks. “I would have accepted the deal as well, of course.”

“Even if you knew Shiro Williams could confess something bad about you?”

Goro laughs, and answers immediately.

“Without a doubt–”

_Never_.

“–Sacrificing myself for the greater good would be the ultimate justice, don’t you think?”

_Justice was bullshit. The world never cared about him, so why should he care about it? Ai wasn’t brave. Ai was fucking stupid._

“And anyway, It’s not like I have anything to hide.”

_He wasn’t Ai. Akira Kurusu would never forgive him if he ‘knew’. The Phantom Thieves had arrived too late._

 

***

 

On Thursday morning, Kurusu tells Akechi that their next palace incursion should be on Saturday afternoon. Goro agrees and, after closing the chat, decides that it’s time to pay the SIU director’s palace a visit.

“He isn’t useful anymore,” Shido had told him, as if he was speaking about an old TV and not another human being. “The elections are coming soon, your new target is the director.”

“That won’t be a problem.” Goro had said, without a trace of emotion.

Now, Goro sighs. November is becoming the most stressful month of the year, it seems, as he has to complete three entire palaces: Sae’s casino, Shiro William’s ship, and now the SIU director’s chessboard.

He spends the entirety of Thursday’s afternoon in that man’s palace until he finally kills his shadow. (The location was the police court and the director viewed himself as the king piece of a chessboard. Really, adults were so damn predictable.)

“The target has been eliminated, sir.” Goro updates Shido, who praises him on a job well done.

It’s already pretty late so Goro starts heading home, feeling exhausted, but he suddenly stops, remembering something.

“Leblanc.”

After smelling the coffee scent from Kurusu the other day he had promised himself he would return to the café to drink his favourite blend, didn’t he? Goro tries to see the pros and cons of going to Leblanc so late, but in the end it’s not so much a competition.

He had worked hard, right? He deserved a treat.

 

***

 

“I hope I’m not coming too late,” greets Goro, entering Leblanc. “Hello, boss.”

“Welcome, kid.” answers Sakura Sojiro, behind the bar and with a slight frown, trying to solve a crossword. “And not at all, we are still open for another hour.”

Goro nods and quickly notices that Kurusu isn’t there. He feels a bit disappointed but he tries to mask it by quickly sitting on his usual chair and scrolling on his phone while he waits for his coffee.

“Here’s your blend, kid.”

“Thank you, boss.”

Sojiro nods and, before leaving to continue on his crosswords, he adds “You can bring it upstairs, don’t worry.”

Goro blushes a little and laughs. “Ah- Am I that obvious? Is Kurusu in his room, then?”

“Yeah, he is.”

After a few seconds Goro awkwardly nods, since he had made the deal with the Phantom Thieves he had become even more of a regular at Leblanc. The vigilante group made most of their reunions in the attic so Sojiro had seen Goro in Kurusu’s room a couple of times, the old man probably thought they were friends.

Goro grabs his coffee and starts walking towards the stairs. Will Kurusu be upset to see him in the attic all of a sudden? After all they are not friends so maybe it is too violent. Well, Goro can always tell Kurusu that he came to discuss Shiro Williams. That surely won’t make it uncomfortable.

“By the way,” Sojiro interrupts his thoughts. Goro stops at the stairs and looks at him, curious. “Ask the others if they are staying for dinner, I have some curry leftovers.”

“The others?” Asks Goro, confused.

Sojiro looks confused as well. “Yeah, didn’t you come to one of the reunions you kids do?”

_They… they had met without him?_

“Ah! Of course-” Goro lies quickly. “It’s so late I thought they would have already left.”

“Then you are wrong, they have been at it for three hours at least.”

“Haha I see.” Goro nods again and gives Sojiro one last polite smile. What is going on? He starts walking up the stairs slowly, making sure he can’t be heard. The naturally loud voices of Ryuji and Ann are the first to come to his ears. So they really are there...

The coffee in Goro’s hand is shaking. He has a bad feeling about this.

He gets a bit closer to the top of the stairs.

“We are running out of time, we need to decide what to do with Akechi now.” That’s Nijima’s voice.

“Y-Yeah we only have ten days left, it’s now or never.” Takamaki says.

Are they talking… about him? Goro’s breath stops.

“Oh my god I’m so nervous” says Takamaki. “What do we do with Akechi?!”

“Ann!” screams Sakura, and then says something Goro doesn’t get to hear.

Goro, uneasy, feels his heartbeat pace increasing. What is going on? Why would they meet in secret and talk about him? Do they plan to betray him? No, that doesn’t make any sense, he hadn’t made any mistakes-

“This is a mess.” Says Kitagawa.

“No, It’s not. You only have to believe in me.” Akira says, with a clear and confident tone.

Goro knew that Kurusu was there, that was obvious, but listening to him talk makes Goro’s heart clench in anticipation and fear.

“Akira-” starts Okumura.

“You need to trust your leader a little more, I’m not asking for the world, I just want you all to help me give Goro a surprise party.”

_Huh?_ Goro blinks. Did he hear that correctly?

“I agree with you, Akira! After all we celebrated a welcome party every time we got a new member.” agrees Takamaki, a bit too cheerfully.

“Y-Yeah, but he will only be a member for two weeks, is it really worth it?” Nijima comments, unsure.

“Of course! I will go to Shiro William’s palace with Goro on Saturday, then at night I will convince him to come to Leblanc and Bam! Surprise!” Kurusu sounds pretty excited.

“Hmm doesn’t sound too implausible.” Says Nijima a bit more convinced.

The thieves start discussing the details of the surprise party while Goro stays there, mind blank, unmoving, standing in the middle of the stairs. After a few minutes to compose himself, Goro decides to leave, his heart feeling incredibly light and heavy at the same time.

“Aren’t you staying?” Sojiro asks, curious.

“Ah… Better not, I was too late after all, please don’t tell them I was here.” Akechi says with a strange smile.

 

***

 

Meanwhile, in Akira’s attic…

Ryuji stares out the window and then back at the Phantom Thieves. “Akechi just left.”

A chorus of relieved breaths sound at the same time.”

“OH MY GOD!” Futaba screams. “I’m so glad I had Leblanc rigged!!”

“That was so close.” Whispers Haru, her voice shaky.

“I told you it was a bad idea to make our reunions here!” complains Makoto.

“I swear my heart stopped when I stared at the window and saw friggin’ Goro Akechi entering Leblanc.” says Ryuji.

“Same.” Ann cries. “But still, Akira, that was a nice save!”

Akira, for his part, is still trying to regain his breath.

They had spent the whole afternoon discussing what to do with Goro. They were still deciding which plan was better, Makoto’s let’s-make-Akechi-think-he-shoot-you plan or Akira’s let’s-gain-akechi’s-trust-because-I-don’t-want-to-risk-getting-shot plan when suddenly Ryuji saw Goro himself entering Leblanc.

Luckily, Futaba had the café rigged, so she put her headphones on incredibly fast and listened to Akechi and Sojiro’s conversation.

“He is coming up here!” She had whispered after a few minutes, anxious.

In that moment, Akira’s mind went full galaxy brain and he had said the first thing that he thought.  

“One of these days I’m going to die from a heart attack.” Akira says, simply.

“As expected from our leader! You really are good at improvising!” praises Morgana.

“Yes, you were quite excellent!” Agrees Yusuke. “But Akechi can never know we were lying so... it seems we will have to celebrate his surprise party?”

“The what-? _Oh fuck!_ ” realizes Ryuji.

And in that moment, Akira Kurusu knows he is in deep trouble, because 1. They would have to make a (not actually a surprise) welcome party for Goro Akechi and 2. Because Ryuji had finally said fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand this is how the second chapter ends! I hope you enjoyed Goro's POV this time, because I had a lot of fun writing him! For a comedy-oriented kinda fic, Akira is more naturally funny so it's easier to write, Goro is just... fun in his own personal, complicated way (?) I guess my goal was to keep the comedy but make Goro as in character as possible, so I hope I did a decent job with that ^^''
> 
> I want to thank my friend Shiro for letting me use her as a disgusting villain (love u) and I also want to thank my beta @s_c_writ for correcting all my english mistakes and beyond, I owe you a lot!
> 
> My twitter is @Shoujo_Shark if anyone is interested (I cry a lot about Dark Sun there)
> 
> As always! Please please please leave comments and/or kudos if you enjoyed the fic, it means a lot for a newbie like me!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic, please go easy on me ^^'' 
> 
> The idea of this fic comes from a conversation I had with a friend (Hellooo, Shiro) who as a joke said that if she had a palace it would be a ship full of gays. I thought the idea was very funny because I love crack fics, but this one ended up being not very crack because shuake angst writes itself. Oh well. (I still hope the meta jokes and some other stuff make you all laugh, though)
> 
> I want to thank my friend tales_of_a_lesbian for correcting my english, since it's not my first language. 
> 
> Please, leave comments and kudos if you liked the first chapter, it will help me know if people is interested! :D


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